onubub

i had this big entry about how things were okay, but then the site when all awry so this is all you people get.

Okay, explain this one to me.
I was given some Maxim's by my uncle  because he said he was done with them.  So i said cool, they had some funny stuff in there but there was also the sexual stoof.  Figures for a guy magazine right?  I dont really need pictures to look at or sex tips because i have an attractive girlfriend and we're not going to travel down that road for some time.  Anyway, she sees them and kinda does a flip i guess.  She tore out the pictures (i watched) and i thought the whole ordeal was over with.  Wrong-o!  She sees another one just this weekend and reads through it amazed by the detail in some of the articles.  I thought it was good that we looked at the magazine together so that if any probems did arise we could talk through them...errr now she's confiding about how she feels with some guy that flirts with her often (a friend of mine no less).  I know the girls in the mag are "perfect" and will make any female feel inferior but i didnt go out and buy the magazines and they collect dust in my bookshelf...i dont ogle the pics, just read them once and set them aside....argh.  So yeah, i r angree.

I think that i try to do more than i can.  I thought i was the perfect guy that wasn't always thinking with his peen.  Turns out that i wasn't.  Even the little touching and hugging is sometimes too much for her.  I'm a big touchy guy because i like human warmth but she isn't.  Did i fail as a boyfriend, should she have said something earlier?  She said its good that i'm worried about not pushing myself too much on her, but why do i feel like a broken toy that doesnt work anymore?  She says i'm perfect but i sure as hell don't feel like it.  So yeah i cry and stuff, mainly because of the whole i failed to be perfect thing.  I had a big entry planned to type out but this is just what happened, at least i have ramble space somewhere.  Yay DevArt!

Took down the last comment because it was old and now things are better.  I'm watched by someone now! *big grin*
Bow to me peons!

Anyway...since the last journal me and my girlfriend are a lot better than what it sounded. We'll have a problem but it always works out and things get better and better...I'm one happy guy right now. Girl on one side and good comments on the other...me <3 life now.

Well my girlfriend is sitting over by my bed totally ignoring me because she doesnt like the music i listen to.. I asked her to be mature and talk to me about it but she just refused to.  so i said fuck it, i've got mindless self indulgence on winamp and the volume is pretty loud.  i can be a jerk sometimes, but when i try to fix something, and she pulls childish stuff like this i dont want to try anymore.  So...what now?
Probably just going to take her home and thank her for ruining my day.  I've turned off my music everytime she's been here, all i ask is to be able to listen to it maybe when she's around.  I dont think this marriage thing is going to work out if i cant listen to something that means something to me...feh bleh and blah.